A Hairy Genius!

Monkey poet?

Ian Brown the former Stone Roses frontman once sang the immortal words "if dolphins were monkeys" which is all well and good if a little lazy in the lyric department.
What if everyone adopted his simian faced approach to songsmithery then where would we be. I'll tell you where,surrounded by countless tunes like "if toasters were puffins" and "if cup cakes were tent pegs" or even "if warheads were crayons".Actually that last ones not bad I could use that,this songwritings a piece of piss,thanks Mr Brown you inept indie pop primate.Now where did I put that obscure 70's disco sample and my bag of hard drugs.Aha there they are,to the charts Batman and dont spare the bitches.