Breakfast with Bambi

Breakfast needn't be deer

Whilst tucking into a wholesome and hearty full english breakfast(eggs,bacon,sausage,tweed etc)I heard a distinct rustling coming from among the black puddings.I gingerly probed my puddings(oo-er madam)and to my utter delight discovered a tiny but perfectly formed baby deer feasting hungrily upon the warm carcass of a baked bean.
Though understandably cautious at first,after a little encouragement she(for the wee creature was tastefully garbed in a stripey boob tube and silver hot pants)was soon coaxed into playing,and jumped and squealed with delight as I flicked her bean this way and that.Once fully revealed from the shelter of hash browns and fried slice she noticeably relaxed and for the first time I could fully appreciate this tiny marvel in all its glory.It also gave me the perfect opportunity to run her through with my fork,smother her in brown sauce and pop her little basted body in my salivating shoutyhole,delicious.
You can't beat the taste of free range produce,so fight the cruelty of factory farming and give those young animals the quality of life and the seasoning they richly deserve.